I've been working out seriously for close to a decade now. And only in the past few weeks have I been able to admit to myself, I don't need to be skinny. Not like that.
Former fat kid in body. Still a fat kid in mentality. And it has taken right years of being a gym rat and two years of NLXF for me to get my head out my ass. It's been 8 or 9 sessions of me barely missing a day, in the beginning going twice a day just to get the results I wanted. Hitting cardio both before and after class. And eating what I felt was like a rabbit at times. I refused to be the fat kid again. And I was determined to torture my body to do it.
And I hit a stop point. No results. No weight down. No muscle growth. No progress. Push up pyramids still get me crying near every time because in theory I SHOULD be able to do it. And I'm nowhere close.
Last session is the end of all that crap. I don't need to be skinny like that. I never will be. But I can get jacked if I want. I can have that muscle and look just as good. As healthy.
I was set that it was my body's fault. That it was messed up somehow. I are right. I worked out obsessively. Doctor after doctor found nothing wrong with me. Telling me to workout more, workout less, eat more carbs, flat out not believing me. And the one that had the audacity to tell me I was genetically predisposition to be obese.
And I'm not convinced that I don't have some imbalances hindering me, but by godsend I feel like I've found my miracle. The trainer watching me struggle for the past two years finally had enough and has put an end to this misery.
I've more than doubled my protein intake already (I don't like meat. It's hard for me) and started heavier lifting after class every day. Hours on the cardio machines cut done to under an hour a day.
It's been mere weeks and the progress is there. I can see it. I can feel it. I am determined. I will do this. I will get there and stay.
That's my long boring spiel. Welcome to my life. Have a seat and stay awhile. Things are going up from here. Even if it's the scale. All muscle baby.