Handstand.

I DID IT!!! AND HELD IT SUSPENDED!! NO WALL. It just hit that weightless moment. I've never even had that moment assisted. Freaking awesome.

It took me a solid 20 kicks up to even graze the wall. I threw in a few shoulder stands so I could let me body feel where the wall was, popped into those no problem. Finally got against the wall for a split second. Next kick up, perfect balance for at least 3 seconds. 

I'd say 2/3 of the rest of my attempts got against the wall. Only one more suspended, but that was coming off the wall first. And then I stopped while I was ahead. Already had done an hour of bis and tris. While it's not super dead shoulders, still no need to break myself while I'm that pumped. 

Total fluke I'm sure. But a fluke that makes me want to practice every day. I'm pretty sure I fell after three seconds just out of sheer shock. I kept waiting for my feet to hit the wall and by the time I realized I was totally stopped and not touching anything, my focus was already out the door.

But after this long. I still did it. 

Outside Yoga, Part Two

Studio Yoga

Yoga Outside, Part 1

A Premature Day 12

I know I am a full week behind blogging, but then yesterday happened. I'll continue on to day six soon, but for now, I'd rather just get the emotions of day twelve out there, and move them away......

"All sessions today are business brainstorming. Going around the room having 15 minute hot seats with everyone. Of course Nate went right before lunch and I had to wait until after.

Linda calling Nate a sexbomb was frighteningly hilarious.

My turn came, and I was beyond nervous, supposed to be about our near future in what we want to with yoga whether its working in the industry or not. We had five minutes to explain, five minutes for James to give his personal opinion and five minutes for the class's opinion. I started by pretty much saying I had no clue what was going on with all the new studios up and coming in the area, what and where I should be going, that I have no niche and I just have  no direction. 

And then it got far worse than I expected. I held it together for awhile, hitting that point where i couldn't talk without that awkward crack that everyone sees as "about to break" and yet he just kept pushing the buttons harder. Finally making me cry in front of everyone, until I asked to return to my seat, where the "hot seat" just continued.

I won't go into all the self pitying details, I do have notes on it, but basically he told me I'm not meant to be a yoga teacher, but not so blatantly. 

This is finishing my fourth week long intensive with him in the past 12 months. Not including the immersion or other interactions and Nates relationship with him. I feel like he has formed himself a very strong teacher and mentor in my head. And a very strong force in my yoga path. He has done the near impossible in taking me from being a COMPLETE skeptic and naysayer in Adamantine into a "how often can I take a weekday to drive to DM so I can take a 45 minute GSP so I can grow in the amazing practice" and in about a ten day span. That's beyond impressive. I am as hard headed and stubborn as they come. When I'm right, I'm right, turning me that fast almost takes brain washing skills. 

I digress, every session we have is very against cross training. Yoga is all we need. And he actively pulls people away from weights and cardio and promotes how bad for you those things are. All the negative affects those things have on your body and why they hurt your yoga practice. He was a Marine, he was a personal trainer, he isn't just speaking from a lack of ability to do those things. 

So we talked a little about my future, including renting space from dad for a "you-dio" to do private sessions with people, where I took a realistic approach in order to make it actually a possibility, to use the brainstorming team to help with the potential problems that I already foresee in the process. Having already flat out refused starting up my own workout program (he had previously basically told me to start my own NLXF and I think my utter refusal to do so really annoyed him). But the talk turned into that I'm limiting myself by giving reasons I can't do thing instead reasons I can. That I will never succeed if I stay that way.  That I have a lot of work to do on myself before I can accomplish anything. That I shouldn't be using such extreme words like love and hate. 

Then came the biggest insult I feel like I have ever experienced. After the constant ripping on anything outside yoga, he straight up tells me "You're a personal trainer, that's just what you are" and further went into that I have a foot in both the fitness and yoga world, but I'm barely a toe into yoga and fully exposed in fitness. 

Everyone else got encouragement deeper into yoga teaching, even mostly in Adamantine and GSP. Even those that only practice for personal reasons and have no desire to make it a job. They got ideas in how to go further and gain better and deeper careers. Even Nate was given the advice for a potential live/work GSP and private session studio loft in the future. And I got, go be a personal trainer. It was like being slapped across the face and being kicked out of the club.

I know the emotions surprised him, I could tell, but that doesn't make it any easier or better. Those came from my personal struggles, especially lately. I work harder than most I know. And have for a long time, and I don't have the body to represent that at all. I have the body of someone who does New Years Resolutions to work out and eat right, but gives up long before Valentines Day. I've seen doctors and other health professionals, I've had personal trainers, and I personally destroy my body to see results that I never actually achieve. I need to come to grips with this. One of the first endocrinologists I saw told me I was genetically predetermined to be obese. I lost it when I was told that. Determined more than anything to prove him wrong. It's now over three years later. I'm up 25 pounds and work just as hard as I have been. I wouldn't hire me as a trainer, looking like I do.

And it's not just looks either. I have no idea what I'm doing. I workout in excess. I kill myself and drown in sweat every day. I would have no idea where to start a client or how far to realistically push them. Yes, I've thought about a personal training certificate, but as a supplement to yoga. To have credibility with the gym crowd to have as clients, and have slight better knowledge. Not to go so far into it to be an actual in the gym trainer. There's such a huge disparity between the two.

I can't start over. Not just for my own self, I know I have the time. But I never finish anything. My parents spent an insane amount on film school before I realized I wasn't cut out for it, it wasn't the industry I would even remotely enjoy being in. Well over 100grand there. Wasted. Don't think the guilt over that still isn't a near constant thing. It's what keeps me working UNI Athletics, that being my only tie to education (even though not really) so maybe I don't look as much of a failure and waste of finances. No matter how miserable or unhappy it makes me as a person for eight months of the year. It changes my personality, making me negative and pessimistic and just a bitch in my relationships, but I have no choice. 

And I thought yoga was going to be it. Especially getting my 500 now. It's been a consistency in my life for 7 years now. My practice had ebb and flow, but I've never given it up. I love teaching, I love the feeling I have, I love the practice. I love the identity. And I thought the education and level certification was worth it. 10grand, all but two of it sponsored graciously. Even after my first epic failure. It's one of very few stabilities in life, I thought I was safe in continuing on.

And now this. I can't start over. I can't fail again. But I was just told I have anyway. Being told I am not meant to do the only thing I've ever felt successful doing is heart wrenching and yeah, I'll go as far as traumatizing. 

I know I can ignore him, I know that's what most would tell me to do. Ignore it, what does he know, keep going. But this is his life. He makes an insane living being the best in business at this. He knows what he's talking about. His advice to everyone else was spot on. He's more than earned the respect and listening.

The class was kind about it, but completely in agreement and supportive of the personal trainer idea. Telling me they would feel "safe" in having me as a trainer. That people would feel comfortable with me. That this is the time in my life to go do "my thing". 

It makes me feel like a liar in yoga, but I'd feel like a liar more in fitness. I got the "You aren't one of us" message. But I could never live in the world of trainers, I would be obliterated. 

The rest of the presentations were a blur. We got to GSP and I expected the worst. Unrolling my mat before we began, James came to me and said, "Thanks for letting me put you outside your comfort zone....it's my job" It was the job part that threw me. I appreciated the first half, the acknowledgement. But it's no one job to make a girl cry in front if the class, and then continue to try to make her talk."

I'll post more on the day when I catch up with blogging but I just needed the catharsis of this today.

That's a win!

 

I'm way too excited about this progress to not toot my own horn here. And it's only been five days....like freaking magic. Yoga magic.

Day Two: Yoga 300 Level Teacher Training.

My hips and butt are killing me from so much sitting on the ground. 

But this morning we started by watching our first half of the class rung through their GSP. It was really interesting to see everyone move through it, I thought it was going to be super boring for an hour, but really it was even more interesting watching all the advanced poses. Seeing Lisas tendencies in handstand falls, and Callie very much struggling with breath to a degree that made it seem like she shouldn't be in those poses. Not helped by the fact that she ALWAYS looked like she was going to cry. 

My turn came. I was to play follow the leader with Nate. The group before us had some people to do that, but after the standing sequence, they stopped following and just redid the standing sequence alone while their leader went on to finish. I assumed thats what I would do too. We get there, I stop, look at James, and he's like, you know the front split sequence, do that too. Ok, we do that even though Im not sure of the breath pattern. Then looked back to James, "Oh just keep following all the way" Well, it would have been nice to be pre prepped at least for a millisecond to see what ANY of the poses were. I was always just slightly behind Nate because I literally had NO IDEA where I was going after that. In side splits I took it super easy knowing I struggle in that one, and in fact James was the one to point out to me my knee issues back in February (stemming from being pigeon toed) Its quite crazy to me that of all the people that I deal with in relation to my physical body, he is the ONLY one to notice my feet and knees, and ALWAYS point it out. Although I sometimes thinks he holds me back being worried about it, when he doesn't need to. In the same way though, I feel like my three passes at wheel today trying to follow Nate were overkill on my low back. OUCH. 

Anyways, by the time I finished the full GSP, I was SOAKED in sweat. I sweat like a boy. Its so weird, because its not that much activity that you feel like you should even be sweating at all. But oh I was. But frankly, this round of GSP felt SOOOO much better than my first few attempts, its kinda crazy. I hope I get one more pass at follow the leader though tomorrow, just for the great count of the second half, now that we spent all morning and all afternoon finishing going through and learning where we should all be at and how to see the different levels of those poses. And thats all we did today, ending early. I think we were all fried though. A good day to end, saturate with all the poses and be able to start tomorrow with a full GSP. 

RYT Day Nine. Starting in the Sun!

Day Nine: Yoga in park / experiences / theory / anatomy / passive yoga (Thai yoga)

• Yoga in the Park was an eye opener to how much we have been ruined by educating ourselves. But by ruined, I mean making ourselves so much better that we see all the things we know we will never want to do wrong.
• Such as, giving someone breathing cues, everyone has different breath! Lateral Flextion, shudder. Creating a practice that has zero balance within the body. Calling out someone "special" in the crowd and catering to something they desire. 
• I will never say things like loosey goosey oozy gooey spine, create an ice cream scoop with your butt, a piece of sky fell into my lentil soup…?!?!?
• Theory and Anatomy were a bit rough, my eyes were just refusing to cooperate, no matter how much I was interested. 
• The Psoas is your fear muscle. 
• The Psoas supposedly also creates that falling sensation when you fall asleep sometimes. It occurs when the muscle fully relaxes.
• During passive yoga (Thai), I felt a crazy pressure on my 5th chakra (throat) and heat on my 7th (third eye). I have no idea what this means, if anything, but it was a highly weird sensation. 
• I felt like I woke from a coma after passive yoga was done. Talk about restful.
• I never thought I would be one to even think about this, but i really contemplate moving on to the 500RYT. Not soon per say, but sometime. I really dig this. Plus James has the best setup for the remaining 300 hours, and the guy is a walking encyclopedia of yoga/wellness/thebody. Its insane. I could drink it up.

Just some amusing images I saw during the day. A lovely combination of strip mall stores. And the Clive Festival set up a water slide using the fire truck...PERFECT day for it.

RYT. Day Eight. Keep the poses straight!

Day Eight: 90 min yoga flow, Practice Mat & Finishing series, Group teach entire class, Kundalini/Kriya Theory, Yoga Nidra/Gong Bath

• Today started dreary and cool, and our wardrobes totally matched it. Everyone was in super comfy clothes, and I donned the pigtails. 
• Morning practice was stronger and more focused than I expected after three straight nights of 5 hours of sleep.
• My low back has healed extraordinarily fast, but my neck needs a bit more time, however not totally disabling.
• I have never done jump up from plank very gracefully. I did it perfect once during practice, and every time after that was silent and strong. Funny how mental mind blocks are totally real.
• My elbows have ceased the feeling of snapping in half during shoulder rolls.
• There was a mini tangent on Gemology. I'm the first to roll my eyes at that stuff, but its certainly interesting.
• I keep wishing for Adamantine studios to open near home. It sounds like the perfect style for me. And the most effective. 
• "You can't create stillness through force"
• "Yoga is seen as transformation, but its not. Its about what already is. It just uses transformation to show you what is in your inner being"
• Thank god for smiley dancers in the front row to help you out during Group Teach when you completely blank on what to do after boat pose in the Mat Series. 
• Some people just really annoy you. They need to learn that being the elder in age does not automatically make you the leader along with the actual educated instructors. 
• The last hour before dinner was near impossible, my eyes kept closing no matter how interested I was in learning about the torture that is Kundalini style.
• Chakras are fascinating. We didn't cover near enough. I want to know more!
• In order to prep for the Gong bath after a dinner break, we had to get our bodies re-energized (and I don't mean the typical definition of energy). So we used Kundalini Kriya's in order to do so in about 35 minutes. 8 kriyas, and I was sweating and breathless and miserable. 
• One such Kriya was bow pose, rocking forward and back on your stomach, breathing Lions breath with your tongue hanging out, for two full minutes. NOT pretty.
• "Feel your ears hear…."
• Something about those vibrations makes me want them every day for the rest of forever. You feel every millimeter of your skin. 
• Driving under Gong shouldn't be allowed. DUG is definitely a dangerous and risky activity. You just simply don't care. 
• Tonight marks the halfway point of our two week intensive. Feels like I've been here a year. And yet, only a few hours at the same time. 

Alley Oop Headstand! (Day 6)

So today I totally had a break through. Because of this new workout program I am on, I haven't been to a yoga class in too long. I can feel my muscles shortening and tightening, so finally tonight I got my butt to a class.

And I couldn't be happier about it. Not only was getting my stretch on fantastic, but Lindsay pulled kind of a random in class. She's usually very similar in her style, and very flow oriented, but tonight she gave us time to work on our head stands.

Here's where this went awesome. I am so used to going into headstands with my forearms on the ground and my hands cupped near the crown of my head (supported head stand). I've always just kicked up from there, against a wall, and then worked at getting my balance off of the wall. But it never really goes well. I can get straight up against the wall and hold against the wall all day, but pushing away to balance on my own, not so much.

But she had us enter into the pose differently. Start with a base of your head and hands on the ground, and basically go into crow, moving your knees to the backs of your arms. Then slowly lift your feet with more pressure on your hands and head. I have a balance problem with crow, but with my head on the ground, problem solved.

So head on ground, knees on elbows, toes up, BAM! Instant headstand. Wall not needed. That is right. I am amazing. A few tries later, I literally collapsed straight to the side rolling like a lump of dough. Ok, no longer amazing, but still progress!

This makes me happy. Happy birthday to me!

Indian Gymnastics on a Rubber Mat (Day 5)

I'll admit it, I fell behind in time today. But I said I would post every day. So I'm gonna. And I post this segment not because its just easy to post and go to sleep (well, its a perk) but I also had full intentions to post it at some point. When I read it, it was like the lightbulb turned on. Not like its not something I didn't already know, because its kind of a duh thing, but it just clicked, and everything shifted every so slightly.

Plus, I totally giggled at, "If there is no breath, there is no yoga. Only Indian gymnastics on a factory made rubber mat. "

So without further explanation, I am going to go crawl into bed and leave you with this gem of knowledge......

No wind=No sail. No Breath=No Yoga.

If you have ever stepped foot on a sailboat, you know that sailing without wind is literally impossible. You cannot move, and you do not move. And if there is a solid wind initially, allowing you move gracefully across the sea with an elegant tilt, and then out of no where it stops, your sailing stops, in a bad way. Immediately the sails flop down and start to clank against the mast. The ropes get tangled. The boat starts to rock, and maybe even do a little 360. You go no where. You get no where. You are totally stuck.

The wind in sailing is akin to the breath in yoga. Without the breath, there is no yoga. It is impossible. It does not exist.

The breath is what MAKES YOGA WORK. It is the link between your external, tangible, gross body, and your internal, intangible, subtle body.

The breath moves, molds, and makes the subtle body into the you you are, and the you you see, feel, and live through via your external body. The breath feeds every cell of you, those that compose your muscles, your mood, and more importantly, those in the mind.

When you try and practice yoga without the breath, you will end up like a sailboat without the wind at sea. Your body will move without elegant ease or direction. Your muscles will feel limp and cranky. And above all, the ropes of thoughts swinging through your mind will be come tangled. You will feel stuck, as opposed to floating gracefully through your day, which is likely why you “went to yoga” to begin with.

If there is no wind, there is no sailing. If there is no breath, there is no yoga. Only Indian gymnastics on a factory made rubber mat.

So next time you do your yoga, don’t let yourself spin in circles and go nowhere. Make sure, instead, that you BREATHE, breathe so you can sail through your day, your life, your YOU.

Baddha Konasana. (Day 4)

Everybody has one pose. One pose that if you ask them how long they've been doing it, they'll answer that it feels like forever, but yet they get no further than where they began.

You can blame tight muscles, stuff joints, general lack of flexability, there can be lots of reasons. Totally legit ones, its just that that pose seems to never go as desired.

For me, that pose is Baddha Konasana, aka Cobbler's pose, aka Butterfly. My feet connect, they get within 12 inches from my body, I lean forward about half an inch, and done. I watch others lean forward with no problem, some even with their face to the ground. Nope. Not gonna happen with these hips of mine.

They really aren't even tight in other poses, just this one. It's as if you could take a sledgehammer to these knees and they wouldnt budge an inch closer to the ground. Same with my chest.

But I'll keep working on it....

Plug me into the Matrix.

So before I make the trek across the Pond today, I figured a quick update on my back might be of interest to some people. I haven't really mentioned it before I don't think, but it has grown into quite the situation and we will be keeping our fingers crossed that it won't be even more of a situation while in Africa.

It started with a simple mole in between my shoulder blades that the the dermatologist didn't like the look of. No biggie. He did an in office little slice of it with a razor, along with a spot on my leg. Leg came back fine, the back one needing a little bit more to look at. More than he would do in the office, so enter Dr. Barnard, plastic surgeon (the most time efficient doctor on the planet, I have walked out of every single appt within ten minutes of the designated start time, plus he's just oozing with swagger charisma). We had a consult, and a week later the real time line started.

Thursday, June 2nd: Surgery #1. Despite being an outpatient procedure, making an incision in my back about 1.5" long and .75" tall, it still involves going to the big kid OR at the hospital. Goes well, much better than I thought it would. Doctor and nurses were rockin, took a little extra numbing, but I felt nothing and felt good coming out of it.

For the next 10 days, it didn't hurt much, but the itching was almost beyond tolerable. All the time, itch itch itch. Pretty normal.

Tuesday, 14th: I go in to have the stitches taken out like planned. He snips them out, but notices two points of infection in the suture holes, nothing crazy, prescribes an antibiotic, and that is that. Still itches a bit, but no more fear of pulling out stitches by rubbing it.

Wednesday, 15th: Tim was changing my bandage in the evening, and notices a hole in my back. Right where the incision was. About the size that you could stick a pencil eraser into it, only when you see a hole AT ALL in your own flesh, it's a huge freak out moment. We called Barnard immediately in the morning. And he basically said that's pretty expected with the infection, gave me an extended antibiotic to last throw my entire trip to Africa (an ENTIRE other bag of worms, open wound with third world water....bad news), and said come in and he would check it after I returned. Sounds good to me.

Saturday, 18th: I hadn't been paying too good of attention to it, and for some reason I thought to have Tim take a closer look at the wound, and I am glad I did because we learned that basically the entire 1.5" incision had ripped right open. There was a hole close to the size of a half dollar between my shoulders. And this isn't like a layer of skin or two deep, this is a good deep crater. Melt down at my parents house. Determined not to go to the ER, called Barnard immediately Monday morning for an appointment, mere days away from Kenya, thinking up all the different ways to keep the wound completely covered so no baby droplet of water hits it, but is still able to heal. Not exactly an ideal worry to think about for a mission trip.

Tuesday, 21st: Check in with Barnard, who immediately started manipulating the skin to figure out the best way to go back in and sew it back up. I guess I should mention in all of this that short of the initial surgery day after pain, and the itching (which could be painful at times, with the inability to itch), it hasn't hurt at all. None. And in figuring out how to sew it back, it still wasn't hurting. I mean, this HUGE hole was taking a manhandling with nothing. So I have that to be majorly thankful for.

Wednesday, 22nd: Surgery #2. Back to the same OR to have it all done again. I was NOT a happy camper to learn that he was going to be restitching it shut. For numerous reasons, but mainly the stitches themselves. The itch factor, the lack of comfort factor, and being freshly raw for a 24 hour travel adventure to Africa, and then 10 days with new stitches, and not just new stitches, but ones that have been redone, meaning they are that much tighter across the back, is less than awesome. No backpacks going through the airports, rubbing on the seats, I can't really stretch yet, then just being there. No yoga. No working out. Ugh. What he thought would matter, but doesn't (at least to me) is that he did THREE layers of stitches, and the first time he tried to kinda hide them in the skin, but this time, it was old school in and out over and under, and WIDE. So the scar is going to be less invisible. Whatever, Im not that vain.

Its a little under 24 hours later, and I am in a lot more pain than I was the first time around. Partly due to the stiches, partly due to the fact that the injection sites for the numbing were covered by adhesive, and if you saw my back right now, it has been a red railroad of reactions to adhesive. Its been 3 weeks pretty much solid in adhesive bandages. And is about to continue to be another two weeks. No breathing for this skin. Its an issue.

As a gross side note, not only did he just stitch it back up again, but he did something I didn't think possible. I had a hole in my back, the "wound." Well, he removed "the wound," how you remove a hole, I wouldn't know, but he pulled out a glob of skin that made it look like he took a melon baller to my back. I half thought my spine was exposed because of the blob of bloody flesh that he showed me. I nearly threw up in the OR. So maybe thats what hurts.

He's going to check it a few days after I get back, but then the stitches will be left in still another week (three total, as opposed to 12 days the first time). As he said, I am going to be "best friends" with these stitches by the end of it. Which short of the pain and itchees on the trip, I am ok with. I REALLY don't need to go through this again. I need my yoga practice ;-)

So any and all prayers accepted for this wound. It's going to be a challenge to keep it clean, but its non negotiable. It MUST stay clean. Infection is not an option. I can handle some itch and some pain, but its a handful right now, and any prayer for it to notch it down a few levels would be amazing.

That's my story! Sorry to gross you out if it did. Just be glad I didn't post the pictures. Because I do have some. No really super awesome shots, mostly all of them are slightly out of focus, but enough to NOT post on the internet to save people's upchuck reflex. :-)

It's Only Six Days.

For anyone that reads this on a regular basis, you might have the idea that I am kind of a body conscious person. I'm not even skinny, but I am pretty food watching sensitive, I workout like a fiend, and just in general try to keep it all in check. Mainly, so I don't end up like this tragic mess again.

Point being, my aunt and uncle have been participating in the Clean Program, and have had crazy results. My dad bought the book, mom read it in a matter of days, and they started yesterday. Well, I have a little bit left of the book, but we are starting tomorrow. The whole program is three weeks. But most people have to start at one week and then give it a rest. We are heading to St Louis on Tuesday, so we will only last for six days the first time, but I get my wisdom teeth out the day after we get back, and I wanted to at least give it a go before Disney World. So if all goes well, we will at least have one more round after this one before we leave in March.

The book is super easy to read and understand, but its all about how our bodies are virtually toxic with all the crap that we eat these days, and the three week cleanse should be a good relief to that stress. It's pretty simple actually, just quite intense. Simply put. There is a list of things to eat, and a list of things you better not touch with a ten foot pole. And its not just things you normally think are bad. Yes, cheese, yogurt (all dairy) are out. As are all breads and cereals basically. But also no tomatos, grapes, bananas, grapefruit, peppers....its interesting to read the science behind it. No eggplant either! Or coffee.... (eek).

But of the Yes List, you eat a liquid (smoothie or soup) for breakfast, a solid lunch, and then a liquid dinner. There must be 12 hours between dinner and breakfast.

That's pretty much it. I think the hardest parts are going to be actually eating lunch (my first actual meal isn't usually until 7pm) and then not eating after dinner. And the coffee. And no juice packets. And no chocolate. Pretty much just going to suck. I just must chant, its only six days. Its only six days.

And then....First Watch breakfast in St. Louis!!! That part, shall rock.

Addendum: Also helping is knowing that my mother, my father, and Tim are all sharing in the misery....

Captive of the Couch

I'm so glad I get to see these girls more than once a year, I adore them! (This will make more sense later in the post....)

Today I lay here on the couch, rendered completely immovable by excruciating back pain. And I know I'm not over the line in saying that, because it took many tears, lots of Tim help, and at least 15 minutes to get me from bed to couch this morning. And its not even 30 feet away. I luckily got into the chiropractor before the holiday break, and even he thought I was totally jacked up. Crazily jacked up.
So, now I am cracked, still in pain, and icing it like crazy, because I absolutely refuse to not go out tonight. Its New Years Eve and these are my first actual plans. Last year was Amsterdam, but Im not counting that. Tim has to work til 5, so I at least hadn't planned on going to IC with the girls to see killer Scottish music, but there's family hors deurvs to be had, and later on, the big plans. Black and White Ball at Bourre. I searched high and low for a dress, found one, and now I HAVE TO WEAR IT. I refuse to be crippled. Even if I stand at the table for an hour and then have to leave. Its better than nothing.
Plus, its with people that we haven't really gone out with before. Some old faces, yes. But also a lot of new ones from the rec center who originated the Black and White Ball plan. It seems like these are the days of good friends, and I hope these people are at least the start of some of that. Like this past weekend for example, a friend of ours from high school basically invited everyone he still remotely knew to a local bar, and the amount of people that showed up, the day after Christmas, was insane. I saw people that I saw every day for years, that I havent seen in more than half a decade. It was really interesting. In a good way mostly, some of the people could have stayed in their caves though ;) Here's a few captures:
Jack thinks he's hilarious. I live in fear.

We packed the bar. PACKED it. And I knew at least one person at all but two tables. That's sayin something!