DPP 03: Fog

And this is exactly how the mood of my day went all day....

DPP 02

DPP 02: Odd acrobatic cat award goes to....Castle! Impressive feat!

DPP 1

DPP 1: Four cats. One tree. This will be the first of many....

Outside Yoga, Part Two

Studio Yoga

Yoga Outside, Part 1

Take your genetic predisposition a and SHOVE IT.

I've been working out seriously for close to a decade now. And only in the past few weeks have I been able to admit to myself, I don't need to be skinny. Not like that. 

 

Former fat kid in body. Still a fat kid in mentality. And it has taken right years of being a gym rat and two years of NLXF for me to get my head out my ass. It's been 8 or 9 sessions of me barely missing a day, in the beginning going twice a day just to get the results I wanted. Hitting cardio both before and after class. And eating what I felt was like a rabbit at times. I refused to be the fat kid again. And I was determined to torture my body to do it. 

And I hit a stop point. No results. No weight down. No muscle growth. No progress. Push up pyramids still get me crying near every time because in theory I SHOULD be able to do it. And I'm nowhere close. 

Last session is the end of all that crap. I don't need to be skinny like that. I never will be. But I can get jacked if I want. I can have that muscle and look just as good. As healthy. 

I was set that it was my body's fault. That it was messed up somehow. I are right. I worked out obsessively. Doctor after doctor found nothing wrong with me. Telling me to workout more, workout less, eat more carbs, flat out not believing me. And the one that had the audacity to tell me I was genetically predisposition to be obese. 

And I'm not convinced that I don't have some imbalances hindering me, but by godsend I feel like I've found my miracle. The trainer watching me struggle for the past two years finally had enough and has put an end to this misery.

 I've more than doubled my protein intake already (I don't like meat. It's hard for me) and started heavier lifting after class every day. Hours on the cardio machines cut done to under an hour a day. 

It's been mere weeks and the progress is there. I can see it. I can feel it. I am determined. I will do this. I will get there and stay. 

That's my long boring spiel. Welcome to my life. Have a seat and stay awhile. Things are going up from here. Even if it's the scale. All muscle baby. 

The End is Here!!!! Day 14

I'm not even to my first standing pose of GSP on our very last morning, and James comes over to talk about my hands. He did that earlier but I guess I had no idea what he meant. But apparently I do a hand "wiggle" showing a lack of focus? I've never noticed, so now I'll have to see if I can catch myself doing it.

My handstand is so perfect, he starts having me drop my elbows to dismount out of it. Far harder than they make it look....

At the end, Mathew again comments on how much I've progressed over the past two weeks, and seems super genuine. Ok, so maybe by the end of it, I actually kinda like the kid. I just really needed to see his method and see him open up a bit first.

Our last session together was even shorter than the end of the 300, the business lady was back, and she gave us some charts to fill out for goal setting. Still hot off the hot seat, I pretty much just sat there. I guess I did write down that I need an IRA....does that even count? In the end I made two lists. One i would have made prior to Wednesday, and one for after. I'll let you guess which waa more productive. I just wasn't in the mood, at all. Thank god it was fast.

Overall, very anti ceremonious goodbyes, got our certificates and see ya. Mathew was really the only person we even said good bye to, and that was even a hug.

But the two weeks ended in tradition. Lunch at Jason's and packing up the car. I mean, if I hurried, I could make the last Gauntlet, and trust me, I had some aggression to work out.

Just like last year, the two weeks took forever and flew by all at once. Intellectually, it was light years easier, much less information to actually learn. But emotionally it was that much harder. Thank god I had a solid friend going through it with me and I wasn't playing hear say all the time to share my stories. Definitely saved my sanity.