Lady Gaga and the Nashua Police.

Ok, so I have yet to blog about San Francisco. I have yet to blog about my weekend in Adventureland. But those must wait, because frankly, this story is much better.

Monday, Tim and I headed up north 3+ hours to the land of sheer insanity. Also known as the Lady Gaga concert. Yes, laugh if you must, but we were both ridiculously pumped. And I knew coming out of it that I would either hate her completely or love her that much more. Well, the show was amazing, the production value was ridiculous, and she is just fantastic. Her fans are completely off their rockers, but this is the midwest we are talking about. Three hours of her prancing around in crazy amounts of outfits and dancers without a single intermission, she's talented....I digress.

The real story is after the concert, after the first three hours of the drive home. I had planned on driving, but Tim loaded himself up on so much Red Bull and other energy drinks (he claimed he smelled like vitamins all day yesterday) that he easily drove the whole way as I was in and out of sleepland in the passenger side.

I get woken up to Tim saying cops are behind him. I say whatever, well, no, the lights are on. Ok, we get to the side of the road, turn the dome light on and wait. Both of us looking out driver side window.

*taptaptap* on the passenger window nearly scares the crap out of me. Ok, cool, I start my heart back up. Super doofy looking dude. If you have seen Psych, this cat looks like Buzz McNabb. Super nice, but dumber than a brick. "Caught you going a bit fast under the bridge back there...."

Pause for second heart attack as magically another cop appears at Tim's window as we are both looking at the one on my side. Scaring the total bejesus out of us again. They start asking us normal questions, Why are you out at 2:30, where ya been, where ya going...ok, fine. But then it turns into questions about our house, is this where you live now, how long you been there, and so on. Like in depth questions. Strange. All the while being really nice, including asking about my air freshner in the glove compartment? Its in a sunglasses case, but the guy was like, are those sunglasses in there? ZERO reason for him to think otherwise. Just odd fellows.

In the meantime, I haven't cleaned out my registrations or insurance papers out of the glove box since at least 2003 (I know, because I found proof of insurance of Feb '03). I have insurance card in my wallet, Tim's got his license, but I cant find my registration for the life of me. The sticker on the car is right, I just cant find the paper. I search, pulling handfuls of papers onto my lap, while they go back and check things out.

They come back, tell us we are getting a warning (not even a written one, mind you, just verbal) for speeding. And that its ok I cant find my registration, but is it ok if they search the car. Good lord. Its 2:30 in the morning, I am exhausted, they clearly don't even suspect anything, and they say they are just doing random searches and we got the luck of the draw. Great. If they hadn't been the NICEST cops I have ever experienced, and letting us out of a $120 ticket...fine, search away.

It takes me awhile to get all the papers off my lap, shoes back on (cause who sleeps in a car with shoes on?!) and out onto the freezing highway. In the time that Officer Doofy is searching the car, Officer Marinewannabe decides he needs to chat. In this chat he clearly ellaborates on drug bust stories, but also asks if Lady Gaga is a "good band". Live under a rock much? It takes at least 15 minutes to search every nook and cranny of the car. Doofy can't find the trunk latch, despite it being in the exact same place as every car i have been in, labeled with a PICTURE of a trunk, and says push. So he has to be shown, searches the trunk, and then searches under the hood? Yeah, ok.....

They let us go, and about to pull away, Doofy runs up to our car, tapping all the way down, and wants to make sure he closed the hood of the car well enough.....

Oh Nashua Police. Its only because you are so nice and have literally nothing better to do that I didn't want to punch you in the nuts....