Alaska.

People. Alaska, really? It is a destination that people seem to be talking about a lot in the past few years. They talk of beauty and nature. Here's the thing, Alaska sucks. Yes, it has some scenic views, but here's the thing, you can go to Colorado and see the exact same views with much less boredom.

The summer before my sophomore year of high school, oh so long ago, the Nordyke clan headed up north to the land of nothing. We were being joined by another family with two girls, one was three or four years younger than I, and the other a year younger than my brother. I think the killer of the trip was not this family, although it certainly didnt add to the fun factor, but that we were traveling with a tour group. Besides the two younger girls, the people closest to my own age, were my parents. The average age of the tour was mid 60s or so. Not so fun for a 15 year old girl. Anyways.

The first two weeks of the trip were on land. In a charter bus. As HUGE as Alaska is, the vast majority of the time was spent traveling the lone highways in the bus. And the tour director was on older man who thought he was God's gift to touring. He made us play bus games, like drawing on paper towels and playing Alaska trivia. But the worst really, was the fact that we had to rotate seats so that we sat next to different people. Anyone who knew me as a fifteen year old, knows that I didnt have much in common with a 65 year old man from Florida. That experience was tied with having to listen to this book on tape over the bus loudspeaker about these two old eskimo ladies trying to survive a winter in Alaska.

While on land, we went to several popular tourist places. But the two that stand out in my mind the most are Tok and Chicken. Tok, was literally a motel, a liquor store, gas station, and run down diner that refused to serve milk shakes to "bus people." Not exactly how I planned on spending summer vacation. But Chicken, Alaska wasn't as bad. Just as small, it consisted of three buildings, and was home to a total of six people in the winter months. But it had the best blueberry pie I have ever eaten. Yum. It also had a mascot of a three legged dog that had gotten in a fight with a Toyota truck.



The last week of the trip was spent on a cruise ship. Where it got a little better. That's where the real beauty came in. And a few better day trips. One involved getting to be on a land dog sled around a block circle in the forrest.
Not exactly the ideal dog sledding time, but way better than nothing. The glaciers were insane. Really. They look like several stories of sheer ice. From the ship deck, looking straight down was just chunks of floating ice.
We also got to take an excursion to go whale watching. Seeing eagles and whales and seals and puffins. That, I cannot complain about. On a cruise ship, its also a ton easier to escape from the rest of the tour group and actually try to enjoy the trip.

As stated before, the views are indeed beautiful, but you can get the same views in Colorado, theres no need to travel to the middle of nowhere to see them. And I am sure that being an angsty teenager at the time didn't help the situation. All it seemed to be was trees and rocks and sticks and rocks and more trees. But it was definitely an experience. Cant eat reindeer sausage anywhere this side of the Canadian border, thats for sure...

PS. There was a side trip to some town in Canada that once had a red light district. My mom and I wandered into a preserved brothel. Pretty much everything in the place was made of condoms. Lamp shades, window coverings, and shower curtains included. It was rather amusing.